Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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