I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need water and some morals
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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