We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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