can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
