I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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