how can u be prego again
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
