Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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