I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
