the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we're making bets on your personal life
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
