How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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