That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
