Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
