He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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