I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize