i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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