i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
