clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
