I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
