New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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