I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
