The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize