Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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