your thong is hanging out like whoa
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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