it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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