apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
