it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
