Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You need Xanax blowdarts
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
