All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
