I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
