So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We have so much sex to catch up on
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize