Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
