mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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