i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
