Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
