What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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