Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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