I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
