i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize