just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
