Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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