We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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