just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
