Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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