Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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