Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
