you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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