i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
