Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
