i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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