Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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