4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
