so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
two words...techno handjob
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
