you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
