Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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