I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
