Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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