if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
