the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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