I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're too hungover to prance.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
