TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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