So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
