There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
