I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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