it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
